Production Package - Script 2nd Draft

The second draft of the script is finished, and we are currently waiting on feedback before we perform the final bit of editing for the final draft, and getting the script along with everything else, sent off for publishing within a book.

The script proved a rather difficult edit this time around. The main problem was giving the characters we had created more depth, as a lot of the time they were very flat, and their lines felt like they could have been said by anyone.

Now, after finishing the character profiles, and sending them to my co-writer James, we managed to capture the essence of each character. Legrasse, a hardened cop who knows what he wants and how to get results, now reflects this a lot of the time in his lines. Fiber, his partner, has a lot of "sass" and is very sarcastic throughout. Professor William Webb is partly obsessed with his past, constantly attempting to tell old stories of when he was an explorer, and these are just to name a few. With the added character depth, we managed to rework most of the lines into incorporating more personality into them.

Capitalizing was another thing we had to do, though it did not prove all that difficult, going through every name within the script, as well as big actions, expressions and props of interest, which we put into capitals to made them stand out. (We were also missing a fair bit of punctuation ie. full stops at the end of paragraphs or speech, but we have included that within now).

Possibly the most difficult bit of editing we had to do altogether was reworking and reorganizing the script. In our initial feedback we were told that Legrasse's wife and son should be taken earlier, around the 20-30 page mark, whereas previously it wasn't until around the 50th page where the two characters actually went missing. We moved the scene, thus causing a panic and a worry within Legrasse from early on. He eventually reaches his point of no return towards the end of the script, after thinking he see's his wife, causing him to almost break down entirely. We felt this would give a bigger sense of urgency behind the script, as well as giving Legrasse more depth and the overall story a more interesting flavour.

This did cause some disturbance in the rest of the script, as we had to try and make it flow still, despite the reordering of many of the scenes. We managed to do this however, by adding a few scenes here and there (such as an introduction for Legrasse and Fiber, actually stating that they were cops/detectives) and overall the piece came together rather well.

As we wait for feedback we continue with the other work we have, and are organizing everything we need for the book which we are going to send off to get printed this weekend, ready for it to arrive by the hand in time.

Production Package - Other Character Profiles

Included in this post will be the remaining character profiles, for those characters that are important but don't fit into any particular category.

Character Profiles – Other

Rachel Legrasse – Childhood sweetheart of John Legrasse and now his wife of many years, Rachel is a stay at home mother, who spends her time looking after the pairs son, Tommy. She is a worrier, constantly worried about the work her husband does, and whether he will return home or not day in and day out. This worry however, often manifests itself in the form of anger, usually focused on John, who often takes his work too seriously, making promises to Rachel he can’t keep, which upsets her quite a bit. She understands it is a hard job that her husband does, but her worry and anger is only because she cares so much about him, and she wants to see him return safe to her arms every day, as any wife would.

Tommy Legrasse – The son of Rachel and John, Tommy is 8 years old. He is well behaved and does what he is told, though occasionally making errors and causing mess and upset for his mother. Though we never directly see Tommy with his father until the end, the drawings he makes tend to be of policemen, and he has many police oriented toys, showing his love for his father, with the implication that he looks up to his dad quite a lot, despite not seeing him as much as he should.

Captain – The Captain is an un-named character, but still a very lively and animated character. He runs a fishing boat, which he rents out to Hannah and her research team to use whilst he continues his day job, catching fish. He is overweight, balding and lathers himself in fake tan. He thinks he is way more charming and good looking then he actually is, usually people would take one look at him and consider him repulsive. He is a drunk, who often drives his boat drunk, or indeed just enjoys drinking excessive amounts every night. He is rarely seen without at least a bottle of whisky in his hand.

Cthulhu – Cthulhu is a giant monster from Earth’s Ancient History. With the head of a squid, humanoid body and dragon like wings and standing thousands of feet tall, this creature ruled over once upon a time as a God. It had a cult following, of those who attempted not to be harmed by the giant beast as it ruled over the land. Now, it sleeps at the bottom of the ocean, where it has been trapped for Millennia, waiting and growing stronger, only to one day be released unto the earth again. Cthulhu, once risen, does show some factors of personality. He, or it, gets annoyed with the humans constant attack against him, and specifically attacks those attacking him, much like any creature being threatened would. It does seem rather intelligent as well, and of course it is, it was once a God. It views humans as nothing more than ants, deeming them useless, thus needing to be exterminated.

Production Package - Scientist Character Profiles

Continuing on with my character profiles, I next did the Scientist characters, as two of our main characters are scientists, and there are a few others that pop up here and there in the script.

Professor William Webb: A Professor of Anthropology at Columbia University, often described by his peers as ‘an explorer of no slight note’. The Professor is incredibly knowledgeable on all things related to Ancient Human History, especially ancient languages. He studies the bizarre and is very interested in the forgotten language of Rl’yehian, which he prides himself on being practically fluent in. Described as a ‘quack’ by a lot of his peers, he tends to isolate himself from the rest of the staff faculty at his university, engrossed in his own research and findings. Keeping himself to himself, he often struggles to make eye contact with other people, especially those he doesn't know. He doesn't mind talking however, especially on a subject that interests him a lot. He is ambitious, fruitful and loves an adventure, as reflected on his past days as an explorer of ancient lands and ruins. This bodes well for the two detectives as when they need his help, he is more than willing to tag along for the ride, if it means he might get a chance to see the revived cult and even the great monster Cthulhu.

Gustaf: A Norwegian student of Columbia University. He is majoring in Anthropology and is Professor Webb’s top student, thus Webb treats him as his prodigy, allowing him to help with his research in order to further his studies. With quite a thick Norwegian accent, the other characters occasionally struggle to understand exactly what it is Gustaf is saying, which frustrates the young Norwegian as he has to repeat himself on a regular basis. He seems calm and collected, but quite reserved. He mainly only talks to the Professor, who says he sees himself in him. Gustaf however, isn't very adventurous, and doesn't particularly want to head into the city where Cthulhu is attacking, but goes anyway as he wants to keep an eye on his Professor. He constantly clashes heads with Legrasse, mainly because Legrasse has a bad feeling about him, call it ‘cops intuition’. Legrasse would be correct on this matter, as when the gang goes head to head with the cult, Gustaf receives a rather drastic personality change…

Hannah: A Marine Biologist dedicated to her work. Hannah is a natural born leader, and very good at what she does. Leading a team of 4 individuals working on a major project given to them by the US Government, she is tasked with investigating unknown anomalies detected within the North Atlantic Ocean. Despite this, she has received minimal funding, and has to go out of her own pocket to rent a boat to take her to where is needed. She has a short fuse and a feisty temperament and is not afraid to speak her mind. Her leadership qualities come into play when she is taken over by the Shoggoth, enveloping her into becoming the leader of the Cult of Cthulhu.

Don: A Professional Seismologist and on the team of individuals lead by Hannah. Working closely with Hannah for such a long time, the two have developed a relationship with each other, and Don is easily able to calm her down when she loses her temper. He is second to Hannah in leading the study and is a fearless individual, not too worried at all in getting himself into danger; sometimes it’s the thrill of the job. He is calm a lot of the time and even in a troublesome situation, he is able to keep his cool and focus on whatever task he has at hand.

Nathan: A Marine Biologist who is on Hannah’s research team. A very intelligent man who knows what to do and what to look for. Very enthusiastic with his studies, and very good with a computer, he tends to be the man who stays in the control room whilst others go on the underwater expeditions.

Nizan: The final member of the research team, Nizan is another Seismologist. Essentially the same as Nathan, more of a computer geek then an out in the field scientist. He understands charts and figures presented to him in very complicated computer formats. Upon seeing the readings on his computer for the sudden storm that’s happens when on the fishing boat, he becomes very scared having never seen something like it before. He is a caring man, and fears for Don and Hannah’s lives when they recklessly decide to enter the submersible during the heat of the storm.

Production Package - NYPD Character Profiles

Here are the mock profiles for some of the characters that are in Cthulhu. I will update regularly with sections and groups of characters that are categorised in a similar pretext. Here, I will show the first draft character profiles for the officers within the New York Police Department:

John Raymond Legrasse:

A strong independent man, Legrasse is a Detective Chief Inspector with the NYPD. He is strong willed, good natured and very dedicated to his job, often putting in overtime into the job he so loves, much to his wife’s dismay.  He has an athletic figure, with short thinning brown hair and dark stubble covering his face. He has an athletic figure, is relatively tall standing around 6 foot, and can look intimidating when he wants to be. Legrasse is in his mid-thirties and a father of one. Sometimes he gets too involved with his work, making him a good cop but also vulnerable to occasionally getting too emotionally attached to some of the victims he is trying to help. Legrasse is charged with being the lead Detective in a series of missing person’s cases that take place in a short amount of time. He will go through whatever means possible to solve a case, occasionally taking his position of power slightly too far. Upon meeting Professor William Webb, he has a hard time believing in the “mythology and fairy tales” that Webb is trying to explain to him. It is only when his own wife and child go missing that he starts to believe in the unknown.

Aimie Fiber

A Detective Inspector within the NYPD, she is partnered with John Legrasse and works with him in all of his cases. She is of a Latin origin. Fiber can often be quite feisty, and whilst she can keep a calm rapport she tends to have short outbursts when something displeases her. She has a rather sarcastic manner to herself, and enjoys making digs at people in higher authority then herself, including Legrasse and even her Captain, Peter Michaels. However, Fiber is kind hearted, and good at what she does, often putting in overtime herself. She is of average height, standing at around 5 foot 5 inches, with a slender figure and long black hair, usually worn in a ponytail.  She tends to dress quite smart, as she has to with the job. Having worked with Legrasse for many years, she knows him rather well and looks up to him, and in times of need and desperation, knows how to keep Legrasse grounded.

Captain Peter Michaels

Michaels is the Captain of Legrasse and Fiber’s department at the NYPD. Michaels is an older and experienced man, with many years in the field. He is in his mid-fifties and still going strong as an acting Captain. He is friendly and warm, however when it comes to work he means business. He will often try and push the detectives in his department to get the best results he can. He knows how to run and office and knows how to control his men. He is a huge New York Giants fan, with much memorabilia in and around his office. He is also a very caring man with a wife whom he cares for dearly, who unknown to Legrasse and Fiber has also gone missing, and he expresses worry but only to himself.

Sergeant Beaumont

A police Sergeant of the NYPD and a non-field officer, Beaumont spends most of her time under the care of Captain Michaels, working as his official secretary. Despite her high rank, Beaumont prefers the administrative side of police work, and does what she can to help out around the offices. She is a smart, well-dressed and strict woman, with Red Hair usually worn in a bun and oval glasses. She has a soft spot for the Captain, having once worked with him as his partner; they now work together to keep everything well maintained and appropriate in the office.

Detective Richards

Richards is an obnoxious detective who considers himself better than others. He constantly looks down on people thinking he is the best at what he does, which is reflected in the good results he gets on the cases he works. He is constantly at a rivalry with Legrasse, and tries to upstage him a lot of the time. He has a soft spot for Fiber, and consistently tries to hit on her, which is never too successful. Things take a turn for the worse for Richards however, when he is taken over by the Shoggoth and he becomes an important member of the Cult of Cthulhu.

Production Package - Filming

Over the weekend, James and I helped Jamie, who is in charge of the visual aspects of the package, with filming a couple of shots for the opening title sequence of Cthulhu.

We mocked up our living room to look like the meeting place of a cult, with a large pedestal with a big book standing upon it. The room was pitch black apart from a couple of candlestick holders with lit candles sat on ceramic pillar type objects. We hung black sheets on the wall to give a darker feel to the whole shot.

The following day we turned the same living room, into William Webb's lab, as best we could. We had a variety of science based objects scattered around a table, and Jamie did an ariel shot of the table. This included test-tubes, goggles, a double helix, magnifying glasses, a strange leather-bound book and much more. The results seemed rather successful.

Jamie will be putting all this together into a title sequence with chosen music and the actors names James has chosen coming up, as with a normal title sequence. Overall we said we would help Jamie out as we could with anything to do with his filming, as we are a team.

Production Concept - Scripting continued and Plot Summary

Over the past week, James and I have been hard at work adding more to the script. Before we continued we came up with the majority of the whole plot summary, outlining key scenes and everything that is to happen within them. This helped us to know what to include in the scenes we are writing, giving the script a better flow to it and making it easier for us to write.

We are currently almost half way through writing the script, with the aims to have the entire thing finished by the end of the week. Continuing on from the last blog about the script I wrote, we have written quite a few more scenes.

Within these scenes, Legrasse and his partner Aimie Fiber get put on new cases by the man in charge of them, Captain Michaels. Ever since the earthquake from the opening scene, New York has been under constant repair after the short unnatural earthquake struck, causing quite a lot of collateral damage. In this time Michaels explains that there have been a record number of missing person's over the course of the week, reaching almost 1000 different cases reported. He tells the duo that, as his best detectives, he wants them to look through the case files, and try and find a connection between them. Legrasse and Fiber see this as an impossible task but start to work anyway before giving up for the night. As they work however, their obnoxious coworker comes over to bother them, a man known as Detective Richards. He hits on Fiber and gets brutally knocked down, before wiping it off and heading to the showers. At this point Legrasse and Fiber head home as well.

Whilst in the shower, Richards is minding his own business, washing his hair when the shower stops. He manages to get soap in his eyes, and while trying to turn the shower back on, he doesn't notice the strange viscous, amorphous gooey substance excreting from the shower head. As it fully forms at the end of the shower, it jumps onto Richards face, latching onto it. He screams and struggles, trying to get it off. The blob manages to get inside of Richards just as he falls over. As he looks up we see his eyes are now solid black, it would seem he has been taken over by whatever this blob was.

Legrasse returns home, his wife, Rachel, not too impressed with him being late yet again, and a short argument takes place.

After a few more days, Fiber and Legrasse are back in the office still attempting to find a connection. Legrasse admits that him and Rachel haven't been getting along recently, due to him working too much and putting in too much over-time, thus barely getting to see his wife and child. Beaumont, Michaels' secretary comes and delivers a new batch of missing person's cases to the duo, who decide it would be best to start with the fresher cases. Fiber finds a cell phone number and suggests they call it, much to Legrasse's dismay. Upon calling, Fiber puts the phone on loudspeaker, as an answer is received, however it turns out to be a strange an unknown language, spoken in a strange voice. Legrasse records the voice on his phone, as a phrase is being repeated over and over again, and not responding to Fiber's questions. They decide this could be a lead and they could get the language deciphered.

Legrasse calls his wife Rachel, as he knows she could help as she had a Professor at her University who specialised in old languages, as a professor of Anthropology. She gives the name William Webb to Legrasse, who thanks her before hanging up, which doesn't impress Rachel too much.

The two head to the University of Columbia, where Professor William Webb is based. They enter his office and explain the situation to him. After replaying the recorded chanting back to him, he immediately manages to decipher it. He then tells the two about Cthulhu, and says that the missing person's cases could all be related to the resurrection of the Dark Lord, which the pair find very hard to believe and consider a waste of time.

With William Webb, we have implemented a series of quirks and mannerisms with him to make him seem quite strange and cooky, to fit within the character description that we have of him. He constantly says confusing things and never tends to look the detectives in the eye, showing a slight socially awkward characteristic of his. We show his enthusiasm of him being fascinated and incredibly happy to hear the language, running up and down bookshelves to find a particular book, which he seems overly proud of. The idea was to have him quite a bizarre character - an old nut, and so far I believe we have succeeded with this.

Production Concept - scripting

So James and I started writing the first part of the script for Cthulhu.

We managed to achieve the first 13 pages, including the opening scene. The opening couple of scenes, to roll before the title sequence, involve a group of marine biologists out at sea, on a rented fishing boat. While the fisherman do their work, the marine biologists are attempting to get readings on an earthquake hey believe to be imminent. As if out of nowhere, the bright sunny clear sky turns as black as night, fray clouds and a huge storm hits. This causes mass amounts of waves, and the biologists detect readings they never thought possible. Two marine biologists run out on to the deck, dangerously, and manage to get into their submersible, and head under water to see if they can find the cause. Whilst underwater,the biologists on the boat announce that the storm has suddenly stopped, much to their confusion. The two underwater continue on regardless, finding a giant underwater city with strange writing and decaying buildings everywhere. Suddenly the submersible starts shaking, and one of the biologists spies something, and a look of terror goes down his face. As the other biologist looks the outside of the submersible is seen, as a huge yellow eye opens, and the screen fades to black.

We then wrote the intro to the protagonist, which just included him at work, and a short phone all with his wife.

We intend to keep writing more and I shall keep this blog updated with everything we write which happens in the script.