Final Major Production - Drafts 3 and 4 of Script

So after receiving feedback for my second draft of the script I have taken the time and since done 2 more drafts of the script.

In my third draft, I took on board the feedback. I was having the problem that many things (including the speech especially) did not fit the overall tone of my piece. The problem being I had scenes that were too melodramatic and over the top, when this is meant to be a serious piece. In order to rectify this, I cut out a lot, almost 11 pages in total. This brought my script down to around 30 pages. I edited some of the speech in scenes that were too melodramatic and brought it to a point where I feel it flows a lot better.

In terms of draft 4, I have now decided rather than doing a 2 part pilot, which would be two individual scripts, I am going to just do one script, along with 5 treatments. I had written the second script already, however it did not reach how long I wanted it to be - it was only 29 pages, so I needed more content. To get over this, I combined the scripts together, coming in at a total of 62 pages. This gives the entire piece a lot more to them, in terms of what happens and how everything comes together, and with around 89/90 scenes, I believe this makes it feel more like a proper pilot episode, where a lot goes on and a lot happens.

It may come to the point with draft 5 where I have to cut out even more, around 15 pages, to bring it back down to 45 pages, however I await feedback. It is possible that the pilot episode be an extended length rather than 2 parts, thus keeping it at the length now.

I am happy with how it has gone so far, and have been looking into Melodrama to see if I do want my piece to continue this way, if it turns out I am still writing quite melodramatically. Blog to follow about melodrama.

Major Production - Second Script Writing

So I posted the plot synopsis of episode 2 the other day, showing exactly what went on in that episode, or what I planned any way.
When it came to writing the actual script, everything went well. I kept the scenes to a good length, some of the characters I introduced, such as Laura, Richard's sister, I believe have clear personality in the short bits they are in, and I also think I portrayed Evelyn quite well.
As the episode focuses in and around Evelyn more so than Edward, I think I did well in properly introducing her character. The foreshadowing at the start, shows something quite dark happening in her life, with her murdering an unknown man. The story then shows how Evelyn's week went leading up to this event - including finding out who the man is. There is a direct contrast between scenes as Evelyn goes from a happy, bubbly girl to becoming severely depressed. This is shown through a couple of montages, about 20 pages apart, both focusing on the exact same scene and things happening, but with two completely different moods.
I have encountered a problem however, the entirety of plot summary, only covers 32 pages and I am meant to have between 40 and 45. I therefore require additional content to place within.

I am thinking to include some Edward scenes, as the focus is practically entirely Evelyn at the minute. In these Edward scenes, I expect to have him dealing with the aftermath of having murdered Richard. This could include him covering things up from Roland, attempting to clean the room and dispose of the body (even though the disposal is shown during an Evelyn scene with many CUT TO:'s as she reads a bible verse out in Church that directly correlates and contradicts Edward in every way)

Once I know how to continue with the second script, I shall post on here what the additional content will be.

Major Production - Script Editing

Having now edited the second draft of the first script, I think I have drastically improved it. With my first draft I received feedback on it that was constructive and helpful. As advised, looking at other pilot episodes of television shows, a lot tends to happen in them. The problem with my first draft was not a lot happened.
To amend this, I took parts of the second script I had started writing, and incorporated that into my second draft. This introduced the meeting of Evelyn and Edward, Edward catching Evelyn's boyfriend and then proceeding to end with him murdering the boyfriend.
The other problem I had was cutting things either down or out entirely, which I found a struggle, but I believe I achieved this well. I set myself a precedent, that each scene should only be between 2-3 pages in length. This is because some scenes dragged on for as much as 7 pages, with speech and things that weren't entirely relevant. Cutting them down helps keep the scenes fresh and quick but still filled with plenty of impact and drama.
My other problem was making the characters sound unique, as many of them sounded the same. While a couple, I was told, do have a firm character to their movements and speech, others really don't. I do not think I have improved this significantly yet, I still need to work on the speech, and edit it to give the characters some quirk, personality and depth, whilst still maintaining what actually happens within their speech.
There are other points I am sure I can improve on, but I await feedback from my tutor and peers in order to take notes and help myself along.